What kind of day has it been, part three

Well, it was a bit better today. Got some ground regained, and looks like we're in for a leg and an arm over the next week or so. But nothing we can't overcome. :D

Waiting for midnight to come. For my day of jubilee.

What kind of day has it been, part two

fuck off.

What kind of day has it been

I didn't get shot, okay (for those who understand the reference with the title of the post).

But yeah, I might as well get shot with the day I've had. I didn't even realize lunch went by without me eating. Or that I was running like mad around the office, voice twice as loud. Sounds like my typical day, except for the fact that I'd rate my productivity at an appalling 2.0/10.0 (read: lots of work, hardly any new insights made).

On the other hand, beyond office life seems great. Making good progress on the weight loss. I've begun to make headways into a new book now ('The End of Poverty' - Jeffrey Sachs). I've found more time (which I thought was impossible).

Piece of advice to those who are looking for more time, or who feel they dont use their time as well as they want -- think "FULL ON." Whenever you do something, or give it more than 5 minutes of your time, try to be in a "FULL ON" mode; be engaged and enthusiastic about what you're doing at that point in time. Devote your attention to it 100%. A big reason why we feel we 'waste time' is because we feel we rather want to be doing something else at that point in time. And we concentrate on hating what we're currently doing, that it makes us even feel worse. Well, next time that happens, just do the opposite. Instead of doing that 'thing' half-hearted (yet still doing it), do it FULL ON! You have nothing to lose - you're gonna do it anyway (because it's required for class, or for work, or for family, or etc.), might as well be FULL ON while doing it. It doesn't change the amount of time you do it; but it really changes the way you feel about yourself before, during, and after you do it.

And of course, my special day of jubillee is coming soon.

Another art photo from my amateur photo skills, called:
"Forthcoming"

from an old friend

sa harap ng kamatayan, mapapapili ka maging maka-sarili o manatiling kapwa na sumasa-kapwa. ang mabuti ang siyang gumagabay sa iyong pagiging tunay na tao sa harap ng kamatayan. bagaman may hangganan ang buhay kung papanig ka sa kabutihan, di ka magpapakaabala sa pagsulong ng pansariling kapakanan lamang. ang mabuti ang gagabay sa iyo na hindi sumuko sa siguradong kasukdulan ng buhay. bagkus, patuloy ka pang magsusumikap hanapin ang kahulugan ng buhay. once we become aware of the frailty of human life, we can begin to live life for others sincerely. - KN

order and distractions

I've begun some progress on personal goals, and I am proud of that.
Now, persistence and perseverance start being a factor. We're on my turf; ready for round 2.

I have been watching too much TV. I tried to excuse it before as "background noise" while I work or read, or multitask. But at best it has kept my mood lifted, and at worst took time from making progress on other personal goals. Time to scale back on this habit. It starts to feel like I'm trying to get over an addiction. But if that's the perspective it takes to deal with this... then 'bring it on.'

On the realm of purpose and life-goals, some-sort-of-an event happened. Like a fleeting light in a dark cave, when you think you see a way out, a small shaft of light. No matter how far it is, how high it is. It is light. It merits more thinking, and more reading.

Despite earlier urges to either go to Europe or Japan/Korea, I've decided to stay in singapore during the Chinese New Year. I realized better priorities were elsewhere for the time being.

And a picture from my photos, entitled 'Light of my way':

only so many times i can go on...

Physical burn-out is one thing... mental, emotional, spiritual is another... but the breakdown of willpower - that is a whole new level for me.

Now I understand what people in solitary confinement or solitary exile go through, if only a little. The soul is a delicate thing.

Lord, give me the strength. I do not have it; but I know you will provide it when the time comes.

Photo Excursion - Jan 13

I started one of my new year's reolutions today -- be a little more serious about photography -- with a walking trip from my apartment to the city.

Took some good pictures, and im now keeping them in file for a rainy day.

Here's one I really like; I call it "I saw a sign"

Another long hiatus

Wow. Another long hiatus.

But before someone throws me out for laziness... allow me to saw... it was frikkin' December.
Cmon, at least on December I should be allowed to submit to my whims. Besides, it was too holiday-yee to be blogging.

Oh, but there's a lot to blog about now. A lot has happened...
Among others:
- plans for a Korea / Japan trip in february
- 12 new year resolutions
- new year, old friends
- Christmas family vacation in singapore! pics and more!
- my ticket to Phantom of the Opera
- my MACDOWS!!! (or WININTOSH!) - read: I'm now the proud owner of a Macbook that BOTH runs Mac OS X and WINDOWS.
- Marvel: Civil War series
- New books!
- Expanding my culinary skills -- cooking filipino pansit

Oh oh oh. But I just don't have the time right now. :(
I'll try to post my thoughts in the next few days.

Ciao my friends.
Warm thoughts.
-

One Day More!

Valjean:
Another day, another destiny,
This neverending road to Calvary.
These men who seem to know my crime will surely come a second time.
One day more.

Marius:
I did not live until today.
How can I live when we are parted?

Valjean:
One day more.

Marius and Cosette:
Tomorrow you'll be worlds away.
And yet with you my world has started.

Eponine:
One more day all on my own.

Marius and Cosette:
Will we ever meet again?

Eponine:
One more day with him not caring.

Marius and Cosette:
I was born to be with you.

Eponine:
What a life I might have known.

Marius and Cosette:
And I swear I will be true.

Eponine:
But he never saw me there.

Enjolras:
One more day before the storm!

Marius:
Do I follow where she goes?

Enjolras:
At the barricades of freedom.

Marius:
Shall I join my brothers there?

Enjolras:
When our ranks begin to form,

Marius:
Do I stay, and do I dare?

Enjolras:
Will you take your place with me?

Chorus:
The time is now.
The day is here.

Valjean:
One day more!

Javert:
One more day to revolution
We will nip it in the bud.
I will join these little schoolboys,
They will wet themselves with blood.

Valjean:
One day more!

Thernadiers:
Watch 'em run amuck
Catch 'em as they fall.
Never know your luck when there's a free-for-all.
Here a little dip

There a little touch.
Most of them are gonners so they won't miss much!

Rebel Students:
One day to a new beginning
Raise the flag of freedom high.
Every man will be a king.
Every man will be a king.
There's a new world for the winning.
There's a new world to be won.
Do you hear the people sing?

Marius:
My place is here
I fight with you.

Valjean:
One day more!

Marius and Cosette:
I did not live until today

Eponine:
One more day all on my own.

Javert:
I will learn their little secrets,
I will know the things they know.

Valjean:
One day more!

Thenardiers:
Watch 'em run amuck.
Catch 'em as they fall,
Never know your luck when there's a free-for-all.

Javert:
I will join these little schoolboys

Valjean:
Tomorrow we'll be far away
Tomorrow is the judgment day.

All:
Tomorrow we'll discover
What our God in heaven has in store.
One more dawn.

One more day.
One day more!

and those i miss the most

"Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with people you love,
aren't you already there?" ~Richard Bach

not knowing what you have till it's gone

by the way, in case...

i really wanted to say how much i miss my old boss.
he was such a brilliant, and too-often-than-not insightful manager who really knew how to navigate the systems and mazes within the company. someone who had a truly good sense of humour ("what am i doing?... im 'raising' the bar") and a clarity that pierced souls.

we miss you boss.

p.s. thanks for dropping by. ;)

Verdict on the Fall Season 06/07: BRILLIANTO!

The jury is back, and here is my personal verdict, and the network's decisions:

1) STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP (new show!)
- My verdict: Best new concept on the block! MUST WATCH!
- getting better and better. concept still has some oomph, especially now that they're exploring settings outside the studio. like Pahmrump, Nevada. too funny sometimes. still watching until the 'west wing' creator gets 'out of the witness protection program' and fights non-quality TV with classic sorkinese.
- NBC Decision: FULL SEASON 1! Day of Jubilee!



2) BROTHERS & SISTERS (new show!)
- My verdict: Best feely-character development show! MUST WATCH!
- i love it! Calista Flockhart is as good, even better 'Ally McBeal' days. the first family relationship TV show which makes me laugh and sympathize with, without rolling my eyes and saying 'preacy cliche' -- because that's exactly what this show is NOT. I mean cmon -- a family of seven: with 3 GOPs, 4 dems, a gay bro, a senile bro, a cheating dead husband, a living matriarch, a celebrity sis, a junkie war veteran bro, and 15 mil $ embezzled. Imagine you're part of that family; who needs dysfunctional friends? Arrested Devt + 7th heaven!
- ABC Decision: FULL SEASON 1! Day of Jubilee!



3) HEROES! (new show)
- My verdict: Best sci-fi show! MUST WATCH!
- hey, i've got to have my sci-fi / fantasy fix on TV as well right? This show is as good as Lost was when Lost premiered, only that it answered questions faster, and had a cliffhanger for almost each episode. Tim Kring, KUDOS -- you are the NEW JJ Abrams!
- NBC Decision: FULL SEASON 1! Biggest Hit! Day of Jubilee!



4) LOST (returning for Season 3)
- My verdict: Best... long running mystery. WILL STICK FOR THE ANSWERS!
- I'm still watching because the story isn't over. And there are still around 381 mysteries to solve. Though Ben and Locke still impress me with how complex they are. The rest, not so much.
- ABC Decision: FULL SEASON 3! I'm still here!



5) HOUSE! (returning for season 3)
- My verdict: Best show that connects with me. just does. MUST WATCH #1!
- my favorite doctor is back! you have to love the genius, sarcasm, and negative energy Hugh Laurie delivers. If he's your doctor, you can at least be sure of getting healthier. this show appeals to my dark-brooding-introvert-sneering self.
- FOX Decision: FULL SEASON 3! I'm still confined! paging Dr.House!

Back, hopefully for a long time :)

Hey everyone!

i'm back, after a long hiatus.
its been a month since i last posted... but really i don't post often, so what's new.

there have been a couple of times in the past week when i wanted to post something - logging on to blogspot, opening the 'create new post' link. but i never really carried through. either was too tired, too lazy, or too... well, too empty.

but well, that water shed broke now, and i'm back. :)

so all, i say... "the opposite of C'est la vie!"

initial thoughts on new Fall season shows

My verdict after about 2 to 3 weeks of the new Fall Season

1) Heroes - top of my list. awesome story arc. great concept. brilliant execution. the perfect show this season.
2) House - the new 'West Wing' is here, except that it stars a sarcastic, damaged, brilliant doctor. why conform with reality when you can be like House?
3) Lost - still a compelling watch, if only to gather the rest of the puzzle pieces. character stories still have oomph.
4) Studio 60 - good, but displays highest gap (down) vs. expectations. but when you tout a new show to be the best thing man has created since sliced bread... you are sure to disappoint for a while.
5) Brothers & Sisters - character compelling from the get-go. will follow if only for Calista Flockhart. and "Mr.Sloane" :D

No verdict out yet:
- Six Degrees
- The Class

i love subways

I'm not calling attention to a newly-found love for healthy sandwiches (though its not such a bad idea).



Subways just feel so alive and dynamic. Every person has a story. Each conversation has character. Each laugh is intended for a particular joke. Individuality is lost, yet there is no collective to speak off - people who ride a subway are no 'more connected' than people who live in different cities. But for the short 10 minute ride, ones eyes are visually assaulted by a rich density of individuals... individual stories, individual characters, individual smiles, individual solitude. And when its right before your eyes, you can't help but feel how much the world doesnt revolve around you and yet feel that the only world that matters, actually does.

The world comes alive in a subway.

conscious little steps

#1. Raise the reading rate up to 1 full book a week. Must read a book every night.
#2. Lower the TV series I would religiously follow to 5 only - Heroes, Studio 60, House, Lost, and ST Voyager.

the sins of rip van winkle

it's been well over a year and all i can say is... it felt like a whole year of procrastination.

i stepped out of the university with gusto and readiness to take on the world. we'll change the world.
we'll make a transforming difference. magis to the max.

one year on, and i've wasted a year. weekends given to sleeping and idling away. from one random obsession - say DVD box sets - to the next - another DVD box set, or some new thing for the apartment. weekdays spent toiling over work. late evenings watching more and more TV, downloading more and more shows.

tv shows i've watched obsessively just last year - West Wing (all 7 seasons... twice), Stargate (8 seasons), Lost (all 2 seasons), Alias (2 seasons), Monk (2 seasons), Numb3rs (all 2 seasons), House M.D. (all 2 seasons), Battlestar Galactica (1 season). Not to mention occassional trips to the moviehouse and scheduling weekends around the HBO and Cinemax schedule. All told, 1000+ hours spent in front of a screen with moving things inside. 40 full days, give or take. And the number of non-work related books i've read in full? FOUR! Einstein's Dreams, the entire set of Series of Unfortunate Events, 4 Poirot novels, and the Ultimate Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy. Pathetic. My college-me would whoop and kick my ass in less than a minute if he heard.

not to mention the weight i've put on. (In the interest of saving myself from embarassment, we shall spare the details).

the number of promises I made to myself that have been broken are ridiculously long.
and the reasons I give myself is embarassingly unexcusable.

people have gotten engaged. people have died. people have come. people have left. people have risen to awesome personal achievement. people have failed. people have succeded. and yet here I am, more than a year before, much the same.

it is as alan lightman put it... time is fixated with motion. the more we stand stil, the more others who are passengers of time hastily move in the background of our vision.

the unexamined life truly is not worth living. let it be examined then, from hereon end.

In memoriam: Mr. Christopher Castro

Meron.

There has to be a God out there. Today would be a dark day if there wasn't.

There has to be a God who would embrace dear nikki from the cold. There has to be a light somewhere at the end of this life, for that is what nikki should have seen. Heaven is real -- its has to be -- because that's the only way I would ever see nikki again. God is alive, because it is a much, much darker day if he didn't.

Some might ask - why take away nikki from us? Why a good person - an extraordinarily good person? How good is a God who does this? How real is a benevolent God who would take from us a beacon of hope, love, and cura personalis? But do we stop and think - how empty a death without the possibility of God would feel?

I do not propose to know His reasons or His plans -- but today, most especially today, I beleive He has plans. He is benevolent. He is Good. He is Wonderful. He is Mercy. Alam ko na andyan ka, Panginoon, dahil sa Iyo Pagiging lamang nagkakabuluhan ang pagpanaw ng aming kaibigang nikki.

Tinig.

For us who are left behind, especially for myself, I feel a sense of greater responsibility for my life. I feel most strongly the sense of purpose - or at least seeking it and fulfilling it - surging through me. Para sa mga nakakakilala kay nikki, alam natin na napakalaki ng kinabukasan at kakayahan niya. Alam natin na kahit ni isa sa atin, walang ikukumpara sa lakas ng loob o sa makakayang gawin ni nikki. Si nikki na may karisma, na may mabuting loob, na may pag-alaga, na may paninindigan, na mas malakas pa kaysa kanino sa atin.

Ngayong wala na siya rito upang tuparin ang kanyang kakayahan -- nararamdaman ko na kailangan kong gawin ang tulad niya. Bilang respeto sa isang katangi-tangi at malakas na kabigan... bilang respeto at pagpapasalamat kay nikki... hindi ba dapat kong ibuhos sa buhay ko ang katumbas na lakas ng loob, kabutihan, pagsasauna ng iba ng tulad ng binuhos ni nikki sa buhay niya? Isang tawag na maging tulad niya, na sa buong buhay niya ay tumulad sa Kanya.

Ito ang tawag na naramdaman ko sa puso ko. Tawag na alam ko ay para sa ating lahat.
Nikki, boses mo ba yang naririnig namin?


Nikki, mahal ka namin. As you are in heaven, please pray for all of us who remain here, doing His work.

Meet einstein's cat

I wish I could be showing Einstein's Cat (my new macbook) with more fanfare...
but today is suddenly all that different. Pictures only, for now.

Rough turburlence, and then smooth sailing and clear skies

You know how in a flight, wind turbulence is always followed by a smooth clear sky? Or in a nasty raging sea storm, there's always a placid tranquility with no waves afterwards?

I've had my worst bout with illness these past 3 days -- flu with probably 42+ degree fever at its peak, not to mention cough and muscle pain. I literally felt I was dying at one point; on wednesday night, my entire body convulsed uncontrollably in bed. This lasted for more than a few minutes, and only stopped when I stood up and wore three layers of socks, pants, and shirts. For most of the time, I felt like a 'hot potato' but couldn't perspire for any logical or earthly reason.

It's over now. And while I wouldn't dwell on how it came to be, I will say this - this 'turbulence' has coincided with a soul-rebirth of sorts. It has not caused it, mind you. It has coincided.

I have taken a look inside my soul, for however brief a moment, and I was not pleased.
Not pleased with what, with who, with how, and with why.

This storm does not take me directly into shore, as in most Hollywood movies. This storm is gone, and tranquility is here. Though I am still at sea, I see land just a ways off.