Sunday, July 16

Rough turburlence, and then smooth sailing and clear skies

You know how in a flight, wind turbulence is always followed by a smooth clear sky? Or in a nasty raging sea storm, there's always a placid tranquility with no waves afterwards?

I've had my worst bout with illness these past 3 days -- flu with probably 42+ degree fever at its peak, not to mention cough and muscle pain. I literally felt I was dying at one point; on wednesday night, my entire body convulsed uncontrollably in bed. This lasted for more than a few minutes, and only stopped when I stood up and wore three layers of socks, pants, and shirts. For most of the time, I felt like a 'hot potato' but couldn't perspire for any logical or earthly reason.

It's over now. And while I wouldn't dwell on how it came to be, I will say this - this 'turbulence' has coincided with a soul-rebirth of sorts. It has not caused it, mind you. It has coincided.

I have taken a look inside my soul, for however brief a moment, and I was not pleased.
Not pleased with what, with who, with how, and with why.

This storm does not take me directly into shore, as in most Hollywood movies. This storm is gone, and tranquility is here. Though I am still at sea, I see land just a ways off.